Michael KreponYear-End Contest

It’s time, once again, for our annual year-end contest. This time, let’s change it up a bit, as we’ve pretty well mined lyrics, old and new, written about the Bomb.

This year’s contest will have two winners. One will be for the best one-line characterization, haiku or limerick regarding nuclear developments during the Obama presidency. The other will be for the best one-line characterization, haiku or limerick regarding nuclear developments during the Bush presidency.

As before, our year-end contest provides an opportunity to hear from you, the Silent Majority. We know you’re out there, and we know you have somehow maintained your sense of humor, despite all that’s not well in this world.

Josh Pollack and Tom Nichols of the Naval War College, who has written a new book, No Use: Nuclear Weapons and U.S. National Security, will serve as co-judges. Tom has offered a simple haiku to get your juices flowing:

A posture review
was released by the White House.
And still no one cares.

Limericks, anyone? Here’s my offering:

There once was a President who went to war
Not once, but twice, for interests most core
To slay dragons most nasty
But made errors most ghastly.
Sadder but wiser, with much left undone,
He passed the baton, with battles un-won.

We know you can do better. Winners will receive a signed copy of one of my soon-to-be if not already remaindered books.


  1. T (History)

    He raised eyebrows in Hradčany
    New hope for a deal on test banning
    For Godot we all wait
    Prospects are not great
    As the White House sits on its fanny.

  2. L (History)

    While enriching went on in Iran
    There was elected a very smart man
    From the general assembly
    Everyone went trembly
    And somehow came up with a plan

  3. A (History)

    Though the weapons remain on hair-alert trigger
    At least the arsenal no longer grows bigger
    Further progress is hopeless
    With the Tea Party focused
    On blocking anything proposed by a black man

  4. Ricki (History)

    After ‘bama took over from Dubya,
    Still Fought with Iran and Libya
    Nuke tech circled round,
    Korea blew one in the ground,
    Almost miss ‘Merka Fuck Yeah!

  5. Sean Phillips (History)

    Mitt, you still can’t put
    Ballistic warheads on a
    Tupolev bomber.

  6. Sean Phillips (History)

    There once was a guy named Obama
    Who didn’t like nuclear drama
    He cyber’ed Iran
    And droned Pakistan
    But try selling that down in ‘Bama

  7. Sean Phillips (History)

    When Bush served as our President-er
    He was viewed as a good nuke preventer
    That “Axis of Evil”
    Was pretty medieval
    But he couldn’t stop saying nu-CU-lar

  8. TravisS (History)

    Drifting to zero
    Maybe in our lifetime
    Then, great power war

  9. P (History)

    Current situation satisfying
    Will go to zero when you do
    Had to kill uncle though

  10. anon (History)

    There once was a president’s son
    Who bought into percent doctrine one.
    While Saddam he deposed,
    A few problems arose,
    Buying time for Iran and Jong-Un.*

    (*Requires creative pronunciation)

  11. Ali Mehrangi (History)

    N.I.E. said Iran wants no nuke
    So Obama cooked the book

    He said Iran wants a nuclear weapon
    It’s obvious; no need for a reason

    Bush at least had had the decency
    To fabricate proof of WMD

    Obama like Bush says he’s able
    To use “all options on the table”

    As always, the press plays along
    Singing the same old war song

    The song goes something like this:
    America’s the master of the universe

    Israel is an angel amidst the brutes
    Its nukes spread love if it shoots

    Iran’s medical isotopes are evil
    The handiwork of a lying devil

    Let’s sanction them, choke ’em, hit them
    Worse comes to worse, let’s nuke ’em

  12. Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus (History)

    Bush Junior was a dim-wit,
    But Senior? He was legit.
    “Lower numbers, bad?”
    Tell that to your dad,
    Who signed START lickety-split.

  13. SQ (History)

    Simply calling it
    A strategy doesn’t make
    Patience strategic

  14. SQ (History)

    Thanks for rounding out
    That Axis because just two
    Evils ain’t enough.

  15. SQ (History)

    There once was a boy from Pyongyang
    On whose word life and death seemed to hang
    Plus his buddy the Worm
    He made half the globe squirm
    With alcohol, nukes, Sturm und Drang

  16. SQ (History)

    Seasons are turning
    And so are centrifuges
    Strategic patience

  17. SQ (History)

    Joint Plan of Action:
    If we can’t have it all, then
    Should we just say no?

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