Michael KreponBountiful Harvest for Year End Contest

Responses so far have blown away expectations. It’s good to know that some of you are stealing time away from other preoccupations to dip into your playlists about the Bomb and to craft new lyrics to old favorites. But other ACW readers – yeah, you – are still sitting on your musical impulses.

As good as the entries are so far, I happen to know – and please do not consider this jury tampering – that none of you have yet to offer the lyric that will deliver Josh Pollack’s vote. There’s still one week to go, so keep these entries coming. We’ll close the contest on Thursday, December 22nd, and announce the winners after Christmas – assuming there are no Big Surprises in the meantime that divert us to more serious matters.


  1. aditya (History)

    Any info on Syrian chemical warheads

    • krepon (History)

      Should ACW charge for these services?

  2. Alex W. (History)

    It took me awhile to come up with a good entry, but I finally found one I could live with:

    Weird Al Yankovic – Christmas at Ground Zero

    “We can dodge debris, while we trim the tree / underneath a mushroom cloud”

    • krepon (History)

      Readers unfamiliar with Alex’s new blog are in for a treat: http://nuclearsecrecy.com/blog/

    • Andrew Tubbiolo (History)

      … I watched Mtv in this era and missed this gem! Here I was thinking I was a Weird Al fan. I spent far too much time on my Commodore 64 and the North New Jersey BBS scene. If it came out in ’82 I could make the excuse that I was playing too much B-1 Nuclear bomber on my TRS-80 model II, and not watching enough cable Tv. Ah, the 80’s.

  3. bradley laing (History)

    Has the book “I Was Kim Jong-Il’s Cook,” by Kenji Fujimoto (pen name) been published in english?

    The second Kim died today, and the third is set ti take the throne.

  4. Daniel Horner (History)

    For the first category, I nominate the opening lines of the Pretenders’ “Middle of the Road”:

    The middle of the road is trying to find me
    I’m standing in the middle of life with my pains behind me
    Well I got a smile for everyone I meet
    As long as you don’t try dragging my bay
    Or dropping the bomb on my street

    For the record, there is some controversy about the lyrics. After a research effort that was laughably cursory by ACW standards, I found three alternatives for the second line: the version above, plus “plans” or “pants” instead of “pains.” To my ears, it’s been “pants,” though “pains” is plausible.

    Fortunately, there is much stronger agreement on the last line of the stanza, which is the operative language for purposes of this contest.

  5. mike (History)

    Bad Religion “Atomic Garden” circa 1991, in fact their first video as well:

    Everybody wants to dance in a playpen
    But nobody wants to play in my garden
    I see the hippies on an angry line
    Guess they don’t get my meaning
    I’m enchanted by the birds in my blossoms
    I’m enamored by young lovers on the weekend
    I like the Fourth of July
    When bombs start flashing
    And I wish I had a shiny red top
    A bugle with a big brass bell would cheer me up
    Or maybe something bigger that could really go pop!
    So I could make the gardening stop
    Come out to play
    Come out to play
    And we’ll pretend it’s Christmas Day
    In my atomic garden

    All my scientists are working on a deadline
    So my psychologist is working day and night time
    They say they know what’s best for me
    But they don’t know what they’re doing
    And I’m glad I’m not Gorbachev
    ’cause I’d wiggle all night
    Like jelly in a pot
    At leats he’s got a garden with a fertile plot
    And a party that will never stop
    Come out to play
    Come out to play
    And we’ll pretend it’s Christmas Day
    In my atomic…

    I hope there’s nothing wrong out there
    I’m watching from my room inside my room
    Come out to play
    Come out to play
    Come out to play
    And we’ll pretend its christmas day in my atomic garden