Jeffrey Lewis@#$! Mangoes

And, oh, by the way, Mr. Prime Minister, the United States is looking forward to eating Indian mangos.”

President Bush, quipping about the trade deal during the March 2006 press conference with Indian PM Singh annoucning additional measures in the “strategic partnership” formed around the civil nuclear partnership.


Well, that day is here!

The Washington Post has a nice fluff piece on “Our Chance To Savor India’s Favored Fruit” that read likes the “American Voices” feature in The Onion.

“People are phoning all day long, asking when we will have them,” the owner of an Indian market in Langley Park told reporter Walter Nicholls. “At home we always eat them. They are the top of the line.”

Hey, who can worry about the spread of nuclear weapons when you have such awesome mangoes?!

“India and the United States began talking about shipping mangoes 17 years ago,” said Secretary of Agriculture Mike Johanns, “Irradiating Indian mangoes safeguards American agriculture while providing additional choices for U.S. consumers in today’s global marketplace.”

Well, damn. You didn’t tell me these were nukular mangoes!

“But this is all in an experimental phase and very new to us,” an importer and distributor told Nicholls, “We expect a shipment within 10 days but can’t say yet where they will go or how much they will cost.”

Uncertain costs and hazy benefits? SIGN ME UP!