Jeffrey LewisEloise at the Security Council

Friend of Wonk Jacqueline Shire sends this dispatch from the UN Security Council as the members-states consider what to do about North Korea:

Eloise at the Security Council

I’ve often wished that Kay Thompson were alive so that she and Hilary Knight could add an “Eloise at the United Nations” book to their collection of Eloise’s adventures. I think Eloise would know just what to say about the nattily dressed diplomats who, preening ever so subtly, stroll up to the microphones in their spiffy chalk-stripe suits and Jermyn Street shirts. John
Bolton has taken some heat for his sartorial choices, but he was holding his own today at the consultations on North Korea, looking dandy in a well-tailored dark suit. Don’t get me started on the poor North Korean chap who entered, unsmiling and rogue-state-like, to hang around the edges of the consultation room.

But the point of this post is to talk about the Japanese draft UN Security Council resolution on North Korea. It contains all the usual language, “reaffirming that the proliferation of nuclear, chemical and biological weapons, as well as their means of delivery, constitutes a threat to international peace and security.” Blah blah blah. Lots of “grave concern,” “deploring,” and “determining.” And my personal favorite, “decides to remain seized of.”

Here’s the meat of it: North Korea is to cease immediately with the development, testing, deployment and proliferation of ballistic missiles, and adhere to the moratorium, while Member States are to “prevent the transfer of financial resources, items, materials, good and technology to and users that could contribute to DPRK’s missile and other WMD programs.” The language is a bit rough around the edges perhaps, but nothing those smooth-talking Brits can’t fix.

“Experts” (UN-speak for not the Ambassador) are meeting Wednesday afternoon and evening to iron out the details. China and Russia were making noises on the margins of the meeting that a Presidential Statement would be just fine and perhaps a resolution could wait. But Japan’s Ambassador had a determined look about him, not only to adopt the resolution, but to do so in a hurry. If I were Eloise, I’d be skittering over to the Security Council by Friday maybe looking for a whole rash of diplomats with their cigarettes and slicked back hair to be adopting this resolution, maybe even unanimously.

Ooooooooooo I absolutely love the United Nations.


  1. Concerned

    Please consider the credibility of this excelent blog before posting such juvenalia.

  2. EEK (History)

    It always reminds me of a skit on SNL with Dana Carvey playing elder Bush. He was gonna Bush-whack ‘em, and has a J Springer audience in the background. Then he gets going about drafting a resolution, and then he’s gonna have a task force review the resolution. He loses the audience half way thru and breaks for the opening line.

  3. EON (History)

    Oooooooh, I love getting my information leavened with humor, especially if it’s apt and clever, as here. Great post.