Several loyal readers have drawn my attention to a heretofore undetected nuclear threat, as reported by The Onion:
U.S. Intelligence: Nukehavistan May Have Nuclear Weapons
WASHINGTON, DC—A report released Monday by the Defense Intelligence Agency suggests that there is reason to believe that the former Soviet republic of Nukehavistan may be manufacturing nuclear weapons.
“New intelligence indicates that the likelihood of Nukehavistan possessing nuclear weapons is moderate to strong,” said DIA Director Vice Adm. Lowell Jacoby in a press conference Monday.
The report cited several factors that aroused the DIA’s suspicion, including the recent ratification of the Nukehavistan Nuclear Pro-Proliferation Treaty, the hawk clutching several nuclear weapons in the Nukehavistani government seal, and the July release of the commemorative “Great Nuclear Weapons Of Nukehavistan” stamp series.
Somone needs to reconvene the WMD Commission. This is an outrage.
The sidebar is hilarious, particularly the national bird: SS-20 Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. Who needs puny eagle?
Yeah I agree we should convene a WMD Commission! ASAP! Maybe Congressman Curt Weldon® PA should become its Chairman! Then he can bring in all his secret squirrel sources and every nuclear bogeyman that is hiding under his bed……
At least the ONION would then have something even more laughable to write about…….